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These courtly premises

Today is court day in T-minus one hour and counting, anxious to see if the judge will accept my plea, but difficult to say…I am currently unemployed, even with a college degree I’m a bum, but I’m looking for income with a focus and intent to better myself and my surroundings…It is tough to nail down all those details that are required to be human, one of those aspects to life that we must deal with is the law, and how interesting it is that our society tries to arrange itself for the betterment of American-kind…When the average citizen of the world population is Chinese, and paranoia is the stark-raving madness that we must be aware of, there is so much out there that is difficult to avoid…Planes, trains, and automobiles confront us with their speed, and we beat each other down through the forces of irony, sarcasm, and ignorance…Even humor has become a weapon of mass intrusion, I remember finding Jeff Foxworthy funny when his comedy was still relevant to ideas I had only glimpsed before, but now he has embedded his phrases into the culture…Am I the only one that feels scarred by all this commercial momentum and corporate fluff?…I question that too much it seems…However, back to the issue…I’m back from court, with my second reset notice in tow, and I have almost a month to pay the reinstatement fee and six months prepaid of SR-22 insurance before it gets dismissed…That and still the quest to find employment and income looms ever closer over me, and the way I affect the world of others around me, all of this creates an anxious and nervous state that doesn’t seem to get anything done at times…Periods of my life where things need to get done, and a lack of practical experience induces a lack of confidence in self-sufficient systems, these states of mind don’t help me…Instead, they seem to influence the obstacles to become more apparent to the whole consciousness around, but self-induced ignorance of features, that should be just as strong through my eyes, are ever darker until slammed against with abrupt force…Which is how I even landed in this mess to begin with…Now travel is impossible because in the ensuing car wreck, I have disabled any means of getting around using the former automobile, and hindered those close to me ever more so through this stupidity…I would still have a fairly good job, and now I have pain in my heart where there never was before, my everything is now a jumbled heap of whys and hows…In preparing for where the sidewalk ends, I have been too liberal with my directions, and too vague and indecisive in my steps to make the world mine…Fear has just been further impressed to restrict my movements toward anything different, and more often pushed back into the fold, to fold and flex under the weight of a social thumb that won’t give unkle up to anyone…The innocent are a lost tribe to me, and sometimes I feel as though I have no way back to who I am, at least not without requisite sacrificial lamb to throw into the fire…Money is what they ask to repel them for now, but how long does it take before blood can become money?…To input a cliche, woe is me, where does this phoenix rise from the ashes of the past triumphantly?…Prometheus and Lucifer and Jesus, bringers of gifts respectively, but not without their persecuting authorities…Earth can be so giving, earth can be so irate…So, within three days time I need to come up with a plan, and “write” now I’m a stumped creature amidst the masses…The issue is a ponderous beast that I shall reign in and ride, and at some point in the future of all possibilities, I will make it mine to overcome the ways in which it strangles me…Before the end of my lifespan most preferrably, and with much joy for all those concerned heaped upon them in light of my victory, a victory in conquering my weaknesses as much as the obstacles of others as they are placed in my path…Wish me luck, give me advice, or just stand in line behind me as we learn life lessons all the way through…As I need to know who is out there, and to whom I can trust that a future is possible, we all learn how the world is inflexible to us…It is overcoming those obstacles that you would throw in your own path that makes knowing the destination worthwhile, overcoming the obstacles of others allows you to find the destination for yourself, and the only way to be truly happy with the destination is to realiize the fact that everyone is on their own path…When intersections occur, there should be no need for argument, but resolution in the face of adverse situations…Passion should never die as a pledge to others opinions of worth, and one should always understand that your life is what you make of it, also what you would wish for it to grow into…As a metaphor pulled from thoughts on flora, the plants and crops that grow among us, either the individual is the example for the farmer to note or just part of the crop that fully matures…Either way is a natural extension of care and maintenance better for the overall systems, that the group can be soothed by the individual’s substance, and those that don’t make the cut make an impression nonetheless when it counts…What is this humble narrator’s fate?…What destination will I make count for all the beans?…It is here that I must part from this script full of questions, and start finding answers that only I can utilize best, I only hope to my benefit that answers are easily found…Done.

Thanks for listening, leave your donations at the door, khet.