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eight thirty-one eight.

homemade cake, the introduction of dreadlocks, and the reckless abandon of a three-day weekend… what more could i need for the ritual of another gone and out of the way year? there’s not too much else, really, that i could want from the congratulatory passing of time… a record player for vinyl albums, maybe, and a career playing music with total creative freedom would be a nice change of pace to start the “new” year out with… however, those things are for later when i have the maturity and resources to handle them… right now, doing my best just trying to hold down a steady job while keeping my creative spirit fully intact and ready for the next big step through the oblivion… looking ahead has never been my strongest trait, no matter how much it has been forced into my thoughts, but sometimes it is difficult to gauge the future or to know the next step by heart… planning only seems to get me so far in these stutter-stop calamities of daily life, and the rest is on-the-fly improvisation most of the time… these two ways of thought seem mortal enemies, trapped into moving together and aiding a weird sense of time dilation, but this relationship is less caustic than once first perceived as truth… the years steadily awaken awareness that was previously locked and embedded potential floating along in the ether until such a time that those were ready to see the real things behind their eyes of vision… it feels unreal at times being this creature Here writing, and not fully realizing the impact my existence will have in all the years to come, that’s not even mentioning the many more moments after my death in this mortal coil… many things to think about before finishing the day’s revelry in celebration of time passing on knowledge to every one else… because we are all Here now, there is a misconception that we can all conform at the drop of a hat, but it is never as easy as it might sound from within… no one has any good idea what the right steps are to train the decent citizen, but part of the innate respect for humanity has got to be one of the absolute guiding lights, a concept that even the most callous and reprimanding authority does not seem to grasp as it is not their job to be kind to humanity in light of failure… some little demon inside our heads is always terrorizing us with these ideals mass-produced for the most efficient effectiveness… the powers that be run us through the hardest training scenarios all within our own minds, thinking that those steps are the best way to make us conform to their system, and we all seem drawn towards the stasis of conformity in the light of aging ideals… is that really where we are destined to be, though, or are we really just gearing up for the approach of a new system to guide us to that perfection that seems so real to anyone bored with staring straight into the sun? i am just one person that represents all of the people in my own unique way, but i am not the only emissary for the ideas of change, there are others who will put the ideas into action like the paths of a circuit or even a neuron delivering information to the rest of the cells… the electric impulse is always there, and always has been, even as we would try our best to forget it or make believe that we can control or manipulate its validity… there is no ending if there is no stopping, and Here is where we go when it is time for the next steps to infinity, this is where we all meet the same walls and learn to dismantle them in order to renew… the forces that we have become are inescapable, but not without relent, and there will be a few to remake the conformity that the aged has set into being like concrete to tear away and re-involve the solution…

Thanks, khet.