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Time dilation and $atan’s fist

It was many hours ago when I last fell to sleep, but in those crucial moments I lay sleeping, others reside within a bubble that I can only seem to interact with in my sleep in a most minimal extent. When I awake, it is not as if all is peachy after the intrusion of consciousness, and can leave me in a bad mood for much of the day. I have tried to get control over myself in these moments of weakness, but find the opportunity to go along with my emotions self-damning, damned if I do and damned if I don’t. A negative mentality which has lead most of my life away from me, not everything positive to be sure, but a lot of solid chunks that could have served me better being of use when it was needed. How damned are we if we shatter the threshold of perception? Would we have a chance at surviving through the muck in order to achieve? If the stress is great enough, the diamond will occur, and the matter from which it emitted would be dust. The world feels as though dust is the end result of all these shenanigans to make it better, not all hope is lost for the masses, but quickly our own sympathy of ourselves filters through us and into the gutters. So such trash in the streets makes us who we are, more than merely animals, but less than the ideal domesticator. With all these wholes, who is going to be responsible for filling all of them up, and when will this proposed filling time come? I guess, for each individual, it is a different matter, but one that comes with time for sure. Time teaches us all the experience of becoming, more than what we seem, or less than what we realize that we can become. Moderators for our own behavior is what many are capable of being, but in the long run, does that satisfy anyone on any level? Money satisfies our instinct for more, whether for this or that or the other things, but always more pointedly back toward greed. Greed for the shiny and overprotected individual state that we have raised to mythical proportions because we have no other gods around us but us, and we must feel that there is a need to become these things through the state of our finances. However, what is it about this state that we know that can come to help us later that wouldn’t hinder us afterwards? We don’t know, the unknown is the support which requires our ignorance in order to succeed at providing us all with a means to reach success, but only to the degree that they feel we can be responsible for as long as we believe. Belief in a system that rails against itself with the privileges that few agree with, and a system that attacks its’ helpless in all their numbers, but for no other purpose than to find a villian among the rest of humanity. Anyone helpless can remain a thorn in many sides for far too long, as long as the system takes note, and at least a few authorities agree that the scapegoat is worth the effort and time to point blame towards. In a game of these proportions, there is never a clear winner or loser, and they do that to find out who their next scapegoat is going to be. The devils feel the need to sacrifice those goats among the sheep to “benefit” the greater whole, but is it really so easy to answer with mankind, or is it just some kind of lost cause?
Thanks, khet