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Salutations to hell

There are times when nothing gets me down, and as much as I wish I could amplify those states, they easily become memories when I least expect the outcome. I’m trying to bring myself to face those grisly aspects that are there to undermine my quality of life, and I really am bothered by the way in which I keep messing up my life, to points of exhaustion I am stressed to some limit. Is something out there that I still can’t see? I wonder where the carrot resides now, after I have long held disbelief in a rat race, and the need to find a way to settle and to give my mind focus searches my soul for answers. The fiery wreck of civilization we stand within is easily the most visible beacon, Roman empires were just one of the circles of hell to get to this layer, and we have much reconciling to do before we understand our folly. We can’t be free if we hold each other down to keep the status quo the same as it has always been, and I can’t stand seeing the world in front of me fall apart at the seams. It is quite deranged to consider freedom at this point in time, 1984 is just a few decades behind us, but why does it feel as though it never left us? Orwell’s grand and sacred eye raining patterns down upon us all, and yet we decide not to see, rather reading the book and seeing the film obviously makes us all cool enough to win. We try to take the long road out of hell, but we end up constantly at the rest stops, when we need to focus and keep our asses on the highway. I don’t know if I’ve ever really felt alive, and especially at this point, with all the bad news that has filtered my way. I don’t know how well I will be able to see through the muck, but I know that I am still Here enough to write down what the world has given to me. Understanding that not everything makes for a pretty picture takes seeing the truth beneath the matter, and realizing that the soul is all one feeling through us in our shells. Pressure should never have to take the moments to the past, but should rather create examples to relieve the pain created through unregulated passions. We take our vows for granted when we can’t see a god in the sky. Not because we want to see, but that we wish we could see, all of it. I prepare now to understand more of what the world has to say to me, and will relate the results to all who would listen to my disenchanted ranting.

Thanks, khet.