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…phoboNautical…

…vessel of blood bone and meat organized allowed to grow complicit saying things like no fear when fear reaches through us touching our hearts coldly sweating as it is set racing nervous as the dread wandering unquestioned into my brain suddenly distorts all coherent perspective tethered to unreal surface qualities that make no sense thus heightening the afraid tendencies Here to rock hard priapism of nonconstructive thoughts making the most sense even when nothing fits neatly together as far as evidence is concerned finding someone to validate your perspective when no one is capable of understanding from where you come, as afraid washes over our feelings so easily for those of us with difficult tendencies in which we seek out conflict in the certainty that which coastline predators rely upon for their meals preying on fears left exposed Here to what sun and sea can do both in growth and damage as able to be digested by the source if not ourselves straining to take in all of the light this life has to offer as yet occurring to shatter the shadows that change is coming through as though bright glare shining rays filtered by stained glass themes depicting relief, deep in a motif refracting the distracting elements for something broader to subscribe oneself to attempting to take in all parts of the splendid beauty which simply is uncategorical by our current means of defining things the proper ways requiring us to have faith in the same systems which torment us with pressure and waiting for the next fear to drop loose from the neurotique or boutique neuroses claiming the fad of disorder to dismiss awkward behaviors as excuses under whose authority we are vulnerable decoys misconstrued as easy prey for predatory urges to overtake mocking the natural animal rites… anxiety the fungible currency of the current society whose digital whispers condemn each other in subtle to extreme competitions to get ahead of the train wreck approaching us with barrier-deflecting power that be in order to make an escaping that much easier than not knowing what to do Here tricking oneself that everything is calm on the surface but struggles underneath from where there is no retreat tend to burst through in knockdown context defeating apprehension triggering suspicion that everything is bound to fail Here can we ever dissuade ourselves from perilously moving forward to excise the torment seeming endless, attached to our familiarities as the repeated patterns plague us into thinking their continuity as absolute when it is as mutable as the spirits and moods that shape our personal behavior ideas and the aspects of our character that are revealed Here by the various experiences we traverse most of the time without any guiding principles except to survive whatever ordeals entrap us to act as the authorities would wish the massive to conform to the reinforced walls of rhetoric making captives unaware scaring every one when the narrative is dead requiring rebirth and that complicates us into forced compliance, with what little the system has to offer each of us in our timing finds us deprived and more than a little bit depraved as the cultural dementia grows stronger in gradual pulses set to pull us in magnetically with gravity that none of us can refuse as recycled and reused for the constituent parts Here left as keepsake fragment of the larger picture that omits so many pieces to a coherent cultural narrative that it bankrupts whole civilizations whose only wish is to get better than feeling this strange sense of sick lingering as though permanence we must accept…

thanks, khet_:/