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piss poor Model of life.

there are many ways that one doesn’t consider their lives to be moving into a valid direction, but all we get to recognize this is the vague longing for more, i guess the devourer within growing bored with the rest of the system makes us decay… paying lip service to the devil put aside for me to test a faith in well-being, and to find which dreams and goals have the mettle to sustain this conjunction of states, where concept freely manifests into a focused conscious awareness… the challenge being to maintain this awkward place of frequent imbalance, displaced by the constant shifting in the emotional sands, and left to murder our own myths as the scope requires us in hind sight… the shortcomings work the nerves with disgusting and rejected fervor, a reckless restless heartbeat of broken and tired urges, and mocking the wiles of the domesticated gist dedicated by the simplistic servile units the world wants us to become… why hyde the syde that frees your mynd, and these are the factors that tense and relax mutual respect for mind and body as the dynamic forces ebb and flow through me, we are gradually compacting into the earth as we naturally break down… digested by the world in what seems to us like lifetimes all at once through varying layers separated by a linear acceptance of what is… i have to confess up to my fair share of the mess, though, i must realize that there is no justification or good excuse in avoiding my responsible weight no matter how i try to look inside of my heart… to disguise the problem still just leaves the space for pain and guilt and epic wastes of energy… the wheels of a mystical complex given to static claims in the conundrum of real time haste… struck with trying to define for myself the definitions that are already there, which we are all grinding away one at a time in too many directions to count easily, and the seesaw sides flip left and right as the progress narrows and then widens in bursts too quick to capture the method to enslaved in anything but hindsight… when we are seeing history lie to us all outright, we figure we can disapprove of it the next half of the moment, but until then we are focused solely upon the outcome… underneath the crevice of everyday simplicity, the start of artistic resonance when it is already too difficult to gauge for an all or nothing worthwhile reaction, and to all those people never met who will be so into my vision once in stages of completion….I love you all… even if we never visit again this rich and splendid foulmouthed fountain called earth, i will champion this halfbreed attempt at humanity, but only as the ephemeral mood has hit me in the burning candle of life….the incandescence is bright and intense from inside, but once outside the center of the flame, the universe might seem expansive quite objectively to one with the eyes to see it from that distance… where the flame resembles the calescence of our cosmic solar star game, and humanity crawls upon but one planet circling graciously and pseudo-synchronously with the other hulking masses still, waiting and influencing the drama as it begins unfolding through us and the rest of the environment Here… pausiously stepping out with daggers in hand, minds alight from the fitful negative high of it while being told what to do, and realizing the choice within any of the stakes at large in the greater range of unexpected things is much more than just ‘yes or no’ answers to questions never asked… the real imperious crazy whores out there fucking a perfectly good way to make money by dominating the conversation, and saying nothing, the same banter back and forth…

Thanks, khet.