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Late night monsters

The sources of understanding come at a frightful price. As we age, I believe we all realize this within ourselves, and how it would begin to grow and unleash itself upon the world through an expression of fear and aggressions that aren’t wise to reveal in this day and age. Those late night introductions to hot pornography or thrilling horror films, back in a time when things were young, and the thrill was a long distance from occurring. There were more pleasant things that would appear at times throughout it all to help us realize our safety, but after childhood’s end, we have ourselves and those few people we trust to aid us through to the end. Even though that isn’t totally assured for all of us, there is no mass guilt for this factor, and in life it seems like caring is just too much energy for people to deal with. I would care less if they didn’t throw it in our faces, but when I try to defend all my actions against all those opinions that would present themselves as time moves along, it all seems to laugh out loud into the face of my callous non-courtesy to those who would love me. I try not to inflict myself upon others, but seem to realize that I’m doing so too late, especially when it matters most to me that they are indeed my friends and loved ones that I care about. I wish I could shed all this enamel from my mind, the crust that would make me drown in sorrow for the life I may not want to live, but again and again I find a reason to know that it isn’t truly the end yet. My life among people I love still exists, and I can’t explain why I choose my actions like I do, things in movement tend to reflect why they are in motion. My skills at floating down the stream, merrily, has turned my life to little reminders of faith in living, but I’m not one to linger too long upon words of woe. Regrets aren’t worth the time Here to speak of, and I don’t want this troublesome understanding to be too much for some people, we need to figure out where our shift to greatness lies in the cosmic cycles. A gray area that is our lives Here on this planet, but I am quite sure that none of us really understands anything, merely improvisation at its’ best. It is not perfection, though glory and pride do factor in there somewhere, but more or less it is the idea to build more than what you are into a farther reaching form than mortality. I think we all seek that in some way, whether we are aware of this trend of not, but we need not fear so much the ends to which mortality puts our bones. We must realize that all isn’t the form, it is only that which contains this energy for a time, and the material world is only the lingering ideas of immortality by abstraction. We no longer see the need for form after the function is met, and then it is off to rise again, to learn and comprehend all of this again.

Thanks, khet.