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Impulse control.

as we grow, we find ourselves on some level at odds with the world around us, whether those odds are represented through the externalized mass that humans appear to be….or through the repercussions that our actions create like ripples in the greater cesspool… when young, there is not necessarily the myriad of senses that we come to know and define later, but perhaps one vague sense of yes/ no potential energy that is utilized to learn what this place has to offer… it has no bias yet, that calcified and narrowed view comes with age, but the ability to discern different stimulus is inherent to our predicament… no genius am i, but these naturally occurring strains of thought hit me with an uncanny sense of realism, while at the same time revealing the illusory presence only thoughts seem to evoke… the child within me craves to make sense of the chaos, but the adult has become placid and unconcerned with affairs of the practical, imagination becomes that double-edged s-word that strikes with bizarre contemplative certainty… the animal instinct wishes to defy the trained impulse to obey the authority overwhelming us, ‘move fast and think simple’ it says, like a voice inside of our heads… the punishment always seems self-inflicted before they become concrete realities for any of us alone, held behind bars for the obstruction of a justice too small to perceive easily, and we are left in the dark until the charges hit like a brick… the flashy badge-wearing cunts and dicks all make it absolutely known that they carry the authority on their own shoulders, they are the representatives of a compassionless and internally-corrupted institution which chooses to beat the influences down pulp-like to feed the soil, and the blood shed means nothing but criminal sport for those who can get away with it… the entity ‘control’ has two aspects when it comes to human intervention, the demonic and the discipline, and one constricts life while the other releases it respectively… with forces like these, you need a healthy respect to keep the negative effects at an arm’s length away, but courage always relies on the fear of risk to push boundaries further… the cannibal culture denies what it doesn’t like, and chooses to eat whole the concepts it can’t digest properly, the two-dimensional view of the ouroboros from above and outside… it will always look like the devouring spirit from there, but from the space outside of time, it appears as the spiral or maybe as the double helix of some genetic gradient of particles… as children, we have to learn self-control even when it seems like we understand everything else involved, but understanding never comes easily… even as these words drop out, there are so many areas behind the vision our eyes see, and we become distracted by these details unless we stay focused and forth-right in our own questing struggle… even as we turn ourselves into doddering old fools, we need to believe that we can control our actions, and how we affect our world, or we feel utterly impotent and futile… a regression into that vague sense again…

Thanks, khet.