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Funerary practice.

knowing why the curiosity of death, and its many intertwined relationships and aspects with living, have fascinated me for so much of my life while the majority are just so distracted away from the idea of mortality being center of confrontation by material pursuit… i have fallen prey to these cultural signals as well, and i will recover quickly enough to see how my life is being warped by the system i bought into, not necessarily a total and solid misanthrope by trade as more than a few blinking lights and buzzing noises can attest to the surface images we get caught up with… unlike my parents now, i still have a vibration of rebellion to guide my attentions even at this critical juncture in my life, and i regret that my parents seem lodged in the simplistic attitude that money can solve the world’s ailments all alone… not with all those subtle economic monopolies going on behind the scenes on that stage of powers that be, this aged mentality is slowly coming to a halt as the generations are collapsing after us, and it seems this bubble of life amidst a cold sea of the deathly eternal holds all the heat and warmth for a limited span of time acquired by these strangely human figures at the forefront… the continuum seems to glide along the track like a monorail through space and the linear existence of history, but when the bubble breaks and the dark outside flows inside like water, there will be more than a few to “drown” in this new deep abyss that we all float on through like particles or motes in the air… to prepare oneself for the death throes is to be ahead of the game, the demon says, but what do we ever actually know from the series of literature we follow and read that caters to the mindsets of fear and guilt and shame so frequent in the modern age… which brings me back to my subjectivity, selfish i know, but no one Here cares as much as i do about relating my story at all… at my younger life periods i was rather unrelenting to satisfy myself alone, but i understood the value of friends at that early time in life as well, though i just didn’t have too many to consider as close without becoming a total asshole at some point…. even that early… flashes of memory tear me loose from where i sit now as i recall the fact that my senses were all conjoined into one vague sense of reality that was still undeveloped, the child’s single focus is utterly betrayed by the lack of guidance created by the power of a vacuum when there are no parental figures to show lessons to the growing pet child, and so the children that have no impression of kindness or quality are learning for themselves… whatever lessons they learn are just as true and valid, but because of the lack of relative information from any elders, there is no grounds to relate to each other over the generations except for hostilities that get thicker and more solid before any more positive moving connection can be established… i think of my own relationship to my father has been a good example of how escapist our culture has become, where the generations before are obligated to support the seeds they implant into this world, but as happens with many parents leaving the home to earn more money, there was never a forethought as to the emotional welfare of the children or the mother beyond the undying urge to get away and start anew as though the previous life was empty of pleasures… this tormented stance has housed itself behind my eyes, which forces me to confront my fears and hatreds, but in a context now far removed from those earlier and uninformed years as you can’t always live in the past… the world ever turning out of one age and into another as we might prepare ourselves to meet an end whose indifference is felt more than heard by deafening ears… a day of renewal for hope…

Thanks, khet.