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Church Night of the Leap Day

i have deprived myself in many ways difficult to describe with certainty as have too many throughout this lifetime of length, hours before anything ever starts to kick into gear there are always the few who show up in earnest to see behind the scenes of the magical Mystery to which is the rite of social connection and communication, but many of us see the television screen with its banal projections into the backs of our skulls unabated as certain inanities played out by the comedian or actor having been conditioned by their television childhoods to participate in these roles… i try to be familiar with the archetypes we utilize again and again like templates for every social distortion under the sun and moon, but even just one person is not enough to understand these creatures of concept without dedicated focus and research as the life-long pursuit demands, so i am given the opportunity as a writer of medium wit to create more and more in order to overwhelm the broken system into collapse and repair of itself… as we are Here to realign the cosmic orders through chaos and darkness of ignorance, and to connect with each other about all the mannerisms of truth and stupidity in a caring environment without fear or guilt of persecution, as it is sad that still many are affected by the brainwashing of the everyday wills of the past pushing straight along through to this plateau of the future as though trying to be immortal when only the immorality shines like a beacon under this persuasion… i was drawn to the discord inherent in the system i was born into, and all their other “fundamentalist” factions and cults have done nothing for me as the Mysteries are still dragged through the muddy underbelly of reality by those who are really the opportunists in disguise leading the flocks to condemn themselves, entrapped in a fatalistic ideal of purity when the only real purity is that imposed upon the Self by the self as each takes on a new shape through the other… early on, church was not a word i associated with comfortability or community but with constriction and the kind of elitism that allows the shunning of another human being out of superstition and status correction, and obviously that did not come to last in my childhood as you may call it the devil inside me that ached against such restrictive bonds… i say as yet we are still in the throes of so many other obligatory vectors that combat our psyches on a constant basis when struggle over unity should be the last things to ever force themselves upon our minds, but even before i was ever conceived of as i am now some thirty-odd years back when my parents humped like crazy, my energy has always been where we are today wondering what the hell is going on with these emotions and misery-sundered relationships of importance… why cannot people be the people they are and enjoy themselves along with their company no matter the consequences?… because of responsibilities and those among us always trying to gain the upper hand within a system that acts more as a random spark of lightning craning itself upward, we speak of liberation loudly now in the new age at least less quietly than previously heard in generations prior, but it is official that we utilize the same under handed techniques that have scarred our minds into submission in service to debt and the half-mad gods as monsters we allow to rule over us… and then there i walked into the hovel of my new-found friend early enough while still there was the sunlight shining against white walls as the host was barely prepared himself to take in these refugees of mass revel after a strange set of occurrences befell the night before, a generous concubine was now washing dishes for his “holiness” as though he were someone to bow in reverence to but the host was without a single humane testicle in his body as i have realized, but it was a modest introduction in this new age of hip paranoia replacing interpersonal social extremes… i quickly met others of this flock quite a bit more reasonable than most even as i waned on the social level, and i made a home for myself in the confines of my host’s kitchen while people filtered through looking for either sustenance or a quick repartee from this refugee with a bass guitar, though i started the night off with drink before anyone else had appeared and became slightly belligerent and afraid of trickery on all sides… the strain of meeting all of these odd creatures left me unable to even participate in humane bouts of conversation, and so in the kitchen i stayed while loud music and louder people congregated beyond me with their hippie crack and interpersonal habits making me realize in retrospect the purposelessness in this exercise, even though at the time i was trying to keep a handle on the weird extremities that kept trying to push me one way or another… don’t get me too wrong as i have no doubt that there were good people there that night, but i had never met those people that night in those conditions, i believe my freak out might have scared some people that were just as cautious about meeting the new guy… in hindsight i am seeing now just how false the atmosphere became when everyone wanted something usual they had already taken for granted to occur, in fact the host made his appointed rounds but seemed just as lost as the rest of us if not more so, and i desperately wanted to experience the novelty of this situation when the last wednesday had been profuse with naive acceptance that wasted was where i wanted to be even though that was false as well… human interaction never always occurs with a bang, and sometimes one never notices what happened or registered in the consciousness until it long after the fact that something smelled rotten in Denmark, and though i have been through much there is always something new to be experienced in this corner of the world…

Thanks, khet.