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________ _______ is a dick

______  _________ is a Dick  – by Pinkerton S. Frigate

The shit felt great coming out of his asshole.  Looking down, he could see in the reflection of the pocket mirror that his anus was expanding around the turd like a whore’s mouth to a big cock.   His penis reacted immediately with a burst of blood to the spongy tissue, resulting in a large erection ready to be gripped and stroked.

            “Oh baby, hold, hold!” he cried, fearing the turd would fall out before he came.

            His fist pumped the shaft with the effort of a horse trying to buck a cowboy off. He caressed his chest and pinched his left, then right, nipple, bucking his hips forward, rectum muscles pinching together the Lincoln log lodged in his ass.  The rough edges of it were slightly painful, but felt good.  The wet log bounced on his ass as he thrust his cock into mid air. 

            “That’s it, daddy feels you coming out.  I can feel you shooting out of my nuts.”

His balls were tensing up, sure sign of an orgasm mounting.  The milky liquid shot forward, then another wad trickled down his fist and onto the floor.  Quickly, he turned and coated the toilet seat behind him with his cum.   The gleaming goo coating the seat reflected the fluorescent lights humming above.   Then, watching himself in the mirror and giving a chant of ‘woo woo!’, he bounced his ass making the turd  hanging from it do a 360 degree spin before dislodging and landing on a mound of wet ass-paper in the toilet bowl. 

            Eager hands reached down and cupped the piece of shit.  With the precision and craftsmanship normally given to clay or wood, he formed the dump into a circular ball.  The artist now admired his work, holding his poop-ball up into the light to bask in it’s stench and check for any rough edges.  Once all incongruent forms were smoothed with thumb and fingers it was placed back down on the mound.  A fetid idle upon a sickly yellowed podium.  The work was almost done. 

            Something was missing.  He eyed the surrounding floor.  Of course, he thought, how could I have forgotten!?  His flaccid penis let loose a spray of urine.  The liquid stunk of coffee.  His dick burned as the dark yellow liquid streamed from it and covered the floor surrounding the throne.  The piece was now completed and a toothy grin broke through his lips. 

            Perfection.

            With a sigh of relief and satisfaction, _______  _________ exited the family bathroom at the mall without washing his hands.  The door handle, metallic and smooth, now was brown and coarse with chunks of shit.  He smiled at a mother with her two children heading into the bathroom.  He smiled even wider when the screams started coming from behind him.