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Musicality.

in anticipation to make a musical connection once again, but we’ll see just how fruitful this shall be, hoping we can appreciate each other’s styles and creative sensibilities… i am skeptical, but feel as though i should not hold back either, to just be open to the new experience… from the beginning it has always been a bit of a struggle to envision the music i like and want to play, but it isn’t all simply distraction from other sources, i mean how far do i want to take my sonic artwork?… i try to think now about how it started, getting high with my friends after school, hanging out being wasted and growing up proper… however, it was during this period of my life that music actually touched me quite deeply, and my soul has not been the same since… the urge for something more has always freed my mind and emotions from the daily constraint of living the robotic zombie lifestyle, but there is truth in getting too dopey when it comes around more than once in a session, it was here that i experienced music for the first time… the albums were a combination ‘Stoner Witch’ by the Melvins, the soundtrack for A Clockwork Orange, and other interesting new sounds… all this before i decided to play music wholeheartedly, but it was then that i realized my voracious appetite for music of any kind i had never heard before, never again would i just accept merely opinions to find my alternate choices… one of my closest friends in Ohio had been going through a musician phase for a little while working the Pizza Slut rounds, and funding both drug experiments and equipment buying in the same span of time, it was when he sold me his bass guitar that everything really changed… a crappy but capable instrument i knew i could use to express myself in new and unique ways, my friend and i went looking for opportunity after spending some time in my room by myself practicing, and we came upon a small gaggle of fellows… a band five strong under the moniker of ’18 Riots’… after getting along with them, and finding a certain rapport with each individual, my earlier friend and i grew a little more distant… he was moved by a more esoteric purview of reality, as well as getting into more jam band styled stuff local to where we had lived, and he had always been a hippie at heart… or at least a passive revolutionary… slowly, the group of five splintered as they tried to deal with each other while trying to incorporate me as a second bassist, but that is how many relationships go because as negative as it may sound nothing is perfect… when this mix of people discombobulated, i was in this new culmination with just two other of the original five, and we did some practicing together though nothing worked out… except meeting other bands and musicians, as well as reintroducing myself to previous friends through the new means of music, and eventually going into recombinations through many various groupings with the many not mentioned here either… my passion is restricting while also being expansive, thus taking my soul with it on a powerful trajectory somewhere, but how can we even begin to think we can fathom that depth to which there is no stone to drop except the self?… now i am Here, self-incriminating and trying to make the most of my dabbled arts, and dying to figure out whether or not this whole shindig is worth it… i have to face my fears, and some may shy away from my particular issues, giving no credence to my own self-respect… these are the self-possessed as much as i am, and maybe on that animal level we can all just get along with one another… however, i do realize the scenario where these ideas seem far-flung, and do incorporate this piece of myself into the overall energy of being… to realize that i am whole and at peace with who I am, and who I will be…

Thanks, khet.