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springquinox circle of elements

had been up multiple days working, hadn’t really prepared anything finalized for the ceremony, how can i be Air when it’s more like a wind tunnel than a logoic framework, don’t even have a statement of intent, some opening words, anything, let alone any props/material components that had been discussed in the brainstorming session. called Water and made my confession of ‘not feelin it’ and lack of preparation, and she had taken care of everything already, all components and general framework for the ceremony. big relief. ok I should try to live up to the appointment.

later on we set out. wind tunnel going strong, having trouble finding a ground in all that’s going on…an uncomfortable level of unknown, and about aspects which don’t tend to inspire such reaction. I try to ground but i feel the wind tunnel and no ground. “whoa whoa whoa i think i need to go back, i don’t think I can do this right now.” I feel the disappointment and duty to follow through but I also know that I’m still working out laying some examples with myself about trusting my instinct/intuition in such situations, and I felt it was likely to go sideways if i didn’t acknowledge the foreboding amounts of unknown –like if I forced myself to go it might go bad because I would sense it as not having trusted myself –and not being able to ground that day!

they started turning the car around, I scan the shops and things along the street, “unless, what time is it, someone could go get me a beer –or two”. Fallback. tend to not thinko of alcohol cuz it has very limited uses, never really believe it will work, that one little can can have such an effect, but it always does, just drink it. And sure enough a little while later I can feel myself settling down into my body as a reminder of Ground, way to find a new ground in this newness storm. but before there it was still a little rough. thought i was all good, but then as soon as the cr started moving again there was the full wind tunnel effect again, no ground, like a hamster in a rocket, just no way to slow down, no way to determine fully accurate position. From the wheel Fire speaks up and tells me how he has always gotten things liek car sick or dizzy and stuff but only when he’s not driving. That’s validating and hey atleast i’m not feeling sick on top of it. just breathe i tell myself as we’re speeding down the freeway -what used to thrill me now a terrifying futurisitic scene screaming by entirely way too fast. i kept telling myself to breathe and ride it out, i eventually grabbed Earth’s hand and that helped too. I already know how water calms and soothes and recenters me, not sure how to do that on the go, except to drink it. but i noticed this time that focusing on fire, even a lighter, would also ave helped me find a new ground faster than it took.

I haven’t mentioned Water, but she was checking in as usual intuitively and made a couple questions and suggestions as I shared a little about what I was experiencing. so we got to the rel wilderness for the ceremony of spring and walking from the car into nature was perfectly adequate in shaking off whatever foreboding or restricted energies I’d been feeling– helped to share some more notes on the ride, the upcoming ceremony, as we walked into the wooded area. –as soon as we exited the freeway and I could smell the trees tears of relief flowed down my cheeks –turns out one of the factor was just CITY itself. I felt my new Ground and the rest fell back into alignment, i felt safe and happy and thoughts flowing orderly and passion rising… glad I had rode out whatever all that storm of unknowness had been about (Water agrees it seems to have actually been an optimal time for me, Wind Tunnel effect and all, I just had to get to the other side of fully embracing it/ that role in the group along with the factors of experience that day that had contributed to the ‘extreme air’ stances in which I found myself)

overall it seems we are making quick progress as far as improvements from one gathering to the next, regarding like complimentary roles and using them more consciously, synergy.

we did opening / focusing movements, dedicating the space as Temporary Autonomous Zone basically then sat down at our cardinal points rel to each other anyway and ‘did our own things’ after filling our respective vessels with our element and lighting our candles of the circle. For me this was the bottom-up, top-down // making circuits with mother nature and divine/logoic order, thing I do. I realized later it might be best to describe it to anyone interested in trying it, as 2 electrical circuits. In one the source is Nature, Mother Earth. In the other, Logos / ‘divine order’ is the source. As usual, there is no hard set order or steps to Connecting, I just do what it take to establish the ‘double circuit’. I usually do start with feeling the material, nature, passion, gratitude for body, breathing, Life er bottom-up energies // I get grounded in my self. Then I open my arms to the sky and focus on the top-down, I open my crown and Mind and it pours like a waterfall into me. I welcome it and ask for it to update/re-align all my mental models, to Inform my entire self. and at some point I FEEL the 2 circuits are both flowing, and so I put re-position my arms lower into more of a centered stance focusing on both circuits flowing through me.

I felt Water’s energy tingling along my side that she was sitting on as I tuned up the circuits, like a friendly little tingle that went about a cm into my outsides like a nice fire glow but without heat. just as I Connected and settled into the nexus of the double circuit, a gust of wind came and blew out my candles (just mine not any others). -Water was watching and saw when that happened. all the little feedback/wintessing we give is neat/helpful. Later on as we were waiting for Earth to finish his thing, Water started hooping and made it rain just after we were done with the candles (how thoughtful of her).

There seem to be endless fun correlations with these element roles. Like Fire kept going on about, hey it’s supposed to rain we should really get going, hey the ground seems too wet here. and Earth as usual was silent and seemed to be even more off in his own silent realm –communicates the least, but me and Water commented on how we could feel him grounding the ceremony and group in ways I anyway realized I couldn’t fully appreciate. I started to when I realized that both me and Fire were kind of getting restless in our own ways and starting to wonder what was up with Earth, then I looked at Water and she was wondring too but rather than get impatient she was being like ‘intuitively supportive’, which I tried on, and then I realized the deeper Grounding stuff Earth was doing.

other aspects of the event were Spring ofc, which we each did our own ways of marking some form of ‘planting seeds’ where the Winter ceremony had been about the silence/bardo between harvest and planting, enjoy the silence and each other’s company in the dark before the dawn, er type of thing. for me, I made a statement of witness and duty for my part in supporting Earth through these changes as she has supported and nurtured us. –in daily life I see the destruction and ‘ruining’ of nature by people and our industry and I feel it like a wound in my own heart, but on a deeper level I know that the amassing of intelligent biomass (us) and the accompanying mess such developments bring, are part of a larger growth cycle. just like birth is traumatic for plants and animals, so too it seems the birth of planets into their next form comes with evolutionary stressors.  I focused on the circuit and Link I have with Earth/Nature as I placed a part of me into the earth and made my statement of gratitude for being here during these exciting times, and commitment to do my part in supporting the earth and inhabitants as we ride through these changes into the next chapter.

***

overall this elements stuff has shown me strengths, highlighted them and validated my models and powers. And weaknesses are more like reminders to turn up the given element rather than push one of my primary elements to work too hard or overextend itself. I also got a big taste of the synergy of group as far as defense goes. I could feel that –though I tend to look at unabashed Selfness as the best defense– if I did feel a need to pour energy into Defense, as a part of that group/circle, it would take less than 1/2 as much energy to get same defense effect. and it did work like that. i got out what was left of one of the candles and lit it an I could feel the circle at my back and basically guarding like 270 degrees. some interesting new experiences…

***

over the last week i’ve been thinking all kinds of ‘elemental models’ since the ceremony. For one such has really shown me my strengths and how I’ve overlooked them here and there, or just generally how to interact better as Air with the other elements, and then mostly how to apply these new perspectives of symmetry to myself, to see all the elements in myself, to better honor and utilize each aspect in a harmonious unity of self, and such like…

about a week later we revisited our thoughts/feelings on the ceremony and circle of elements and stuff. i noticed how me and Fire have always gotten along, i mean we can go ok the bottom line for me is, for you is, can we get behind this or that, etc. communication about logistics (and other stuff like personal respective passionate goals/plans, but highlight there) is effortless. Then I’ve loved getting to know Water –so validating for me to have someone to interact with who speaks the same ‘symbolism’ dialect. for her  intellectual validation and new angles/experiement ideas to the empathy models and dream maps and stuff she can do.

i commented on how it seems interesting to me that Earth and I have spent so many years together working on interaction between us, and that seems to be the most difficult interaction for me among the elements.

air+water and fire+earth?  perhaps it’s the water and earth aspects we have not been more fully introduced to or have been trying to train and or warm up to

//temp models