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Mood Swings of a Death Culture

so, i blacked out again at a friend’s house in the middle of a social trade-off with my consciousness gone from the stage, but was saved by the friend i currently live with from collapsing into a heap on the floor even though i was treating her like shit then because i was too drunk to be a good friend with resentment in my heart… i am an emotional bass-tard whose problem relies on humanity being frail and faulty on so many of these levels that require compassion ahead of ignorance, though after a bold statement like that one i wonder whether if ignorance were not some prime moving force like the absurd in stupidity with regards to the usual contrary motions between odd intellects, and if there were an acceptance of these traits within more than just the negative context though also an embracing at the revulsion of these wisdoms… our intellect is given the fodder to seed the underlying imagination as watered by the reigning clouds of emotion which at times rain down tears and darker things to bury the sprouting ideas in a muddled darkness, we interact with others that resemble the differences in ourselves and how we do not understand it as our world fully is enough as lone beings gathered together en masse Here that huge generations are sometimes so misguided by the wrong sources for their information, and we are quickly coming to a time of realization where abusive manipulators are more often becoming confronted for their abuse of their powers and opportunity in forsaking to have a controlling hand in everything desired… seeing beyond the inherent power of the individual to seek the splendid enlightenment of the “real” as elusive world made of materialism and sweet promises of a good fortune if you have followed all of the rules properly, i feel the backlash (backwash) when my fears and my folly enmesh and i wave-phase entangled this mess which leads me to confront what confounds me about myself, and the repetition of lessons that need not be repeated again and again so frequently as the stage lights dim over time and the wasted effort remaining so within me as uncontrollable by any means… the clouded visions condense and can dance across the eyelids as the virus increase in a cesspool of insult and disease when the discomfort comes upon one by chance, oozing like molasses over these facial reconstructions as they contort in a pronounced expression that contracts the muscles back against the state of current affairs, but the drama further drips and it drools over the lips as the dumb are soon struck voiceless in a vacuum of public opinion where the scary beasts roam and lope about to remake Rome and the worst of its’ biblical proportions as fear rears its ugly heads like raising dead souls from the end moist ground that cakes to your heels as you try to run away from this apocalypse already inside your head… the contingent self and innocence as god as long as we can interpret this ignorance as bliss has kept us from knowing an absolute finish as lined from the other side by the ideas we cannot yet understand, the foreground as it might fade to the back in a paranoid film noir dream of mysteries we can accept because we start to see it all as a televised stream which proxies the experience to appear as if we have been there in the past, but it is a false extrusion of reality that we can all access in our own time as long as extreme pressure pushes the diamonds of certainty through to this material surface… but i digress, from the depths of abasing one’s selfish pose is where i reach and latch onto these insightful grasps at artistic interpretation from my owned perspective while it stays alive in this living purgatory set to describe what i cannot understand, it is this space in which we all find confusion as we begin to tread and strut with a dusty pace shaking the dirty grit off while adding another layer to displace the remains of the passed trails trailing off into a narrowed distance that yields information to none that do not travel along its path oneself… as if this could excuse the behavior that throttles the human spirit with other spirits that do not tread so wisely as the human remains vessel for the other mutinous dogs on this ship of fools we are timidly traveling within, intoxicated with desire and need and want as we bleed for truth in this culture searching for an ideal monotrauma as though in some single violent awake synchronicity as the act which will somehow speed us toward a unified enlightening of thought or body or control of the soulless commodity passed out like candy, money or any other gift on a birthday trip where its these revolutions that are never going to stop us or anyone like us ever again as train wreck you paid to get onto yet Here you are wanting to justify a way out… last ditch efforts of trial by tribulations as your flare for adaptation tries emulating a version of substance that is truly just as subversion of temperance, issuing forth from the super abundance as it begins to lose course for us limping and wailing against the pricks those odd hurdles confessing shit and wishes to fill the hands begging for guidance dismissing the abilities they have innate to live, and to give as well as feel all the lies gang-up upon us one at a time to distort our perceptions without knowing as contradiction creeps into the seconds guessing gloom and doom assuming worry and fear when nothing of this is an ultimate truth… just a foundation where we can always learn to begin anew without the dread inherent in making those responsible decisions rise as voice of decisive action, the transformation from merely human being to a specie of human doing is respect without blindness inflicted from the flying angles cutting shards from this opinion buried so deep behind thin skin, but what of other gaseous forms working their own unique state of poison outside any real framed reference in this capitalist ritual at consume and devour in pseudo-sexual recycling of content as a fetish for the discontent?…. three dots as a hesitation… revealing more intrusion than excuses why we shouldn’t be here today forcing others to fall under the sway or stand betrayed by a system of the hit-and-run single-minded status quo as predator, and praying not to be the one recaptured and sold back into lifestyle of commodity as caretaker cum savior to the rest of this messy convolution taking place, forcing the mind-raping upon others to save one’s face in the present absence as absent presence of real integrity comprised of respect and compassion not being mutually exclusive of one another’s self-exposing epic drama…

Thanks, khet.