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24 Hour Four Twenty

it all started as some weird cycle of events the moment i realized i had to go to see the Melvins perform live at a club Here, even as i had no real means of a decent transport except for the mass transit which was completely tolerable by my standards, but it was in a bout of that amateur cartography that got me a little anxious to get there and to have the chance to glimpse a band of their caliber while i had an open choice… many different offers for gatherings came in through the social network to get the jump on today as this was a stoner holiday to those in the know, though how this came to be i do not really understand with any real clarity as there are always rumors and other spaced out versions of interpretations as to what significance it could all be, but this day is not a holiday for me… only the end of a week where i found myself waiting patiently to get the feeling that there was something to do that wasn’t going to end naturally be costing too much of the precious money i have labored for in that two-week interval as deemed the ‘pay period’, this was the priority on top of trying to acquire the celebratory favors that could have left the weeks well worth laborious duties, but even with earned monies saved and set aside for botanical pleasures to commence with the spacening out with no way of telling what was going to happen on the quest for a decent evening away from home… but enough of that for now, the alcohol and the tobacco are but two parts of a strange device that has been used against a people made unaware of their spiritual potency in a focus of actual sorcery, and this allows for that same unaware participant in the ‘occulture’ (culture of the hidden) as we currently live it blinded by its human fascinations for art and music moving as units of subversive material that cannot be suppressed by generalizing governments nor the society as consciousness craves and wants more as much as any person might need or desire specifically as animal equivalent to this raw protean push toward ends we never understand at the beginning… meanwhile, back on the streets where our agonist-in-motion takes the buses into obliviousness where there would be promise of musical revelry in the full throttle of a weekend good time, but little did the hint of haphazard human fallibility as it would be later known to the ever-inclusive ‘we’ ever shine through to the rational or practical views of what a ‘good time’ really consists of when the drugs are shuffled around among associates as complimentary acquaintances in stressful sequences of give-and-take condensed into those moments you never get back… the night loops back through to me in a memory state feeling heavy in the head barren of any simplicity beyond the momentary that fragments or recoils in horror at the human condition through a fog of optimal delusion where a shallow wool can be coaxed over the eyes of a people so divided, almost lost myself but luckily other losers in the lost were trying as well to find the venue where the show would commence as their party of three packed into a car whose GPS system wreaked havoc upon finding any sweet salvation were trapped in the cancerous wetland of the dreamy and blissful ignorant beings drifting into oblivion, but the car kept rolling on while the chit-chat floated like bouts of societal woes grown and honed like a dark force pointed away for a murky-jerky tragedy waiting to happen as always fuels the human drama just below the surface into complex tissues of love and faith… in front of the venue, our agonist gets to be dropped off at the entrance by his new friends to whom he wishes much luck in finding a parking spot close by, but for now he only envisions getting into the concert with his lucky charm in tow which if otherwise was dismissed and persecuted because it looks gun-shaped though in all actuality was my bass guitar as was brought around by me like a fetish… Unsane was on stage in the front room as i moved beyond the guard gate unscathed with bass on my back crawling up the stairs, the bar on the left but the real ebntrance to the right with muffled lovely noise coming through the doorway packed with people i would never know, but this didn’t stop my direction towards the bar further inside crowded with nodding heads and their rockin’ girlfriends swaying to the power quickly switching to the Melvins as the alcoholic haze encircled me like a scarf… i walked out just before their set in the intermission where i ran into the other woman whom i knew from the church night fiasco sometime before this moment, keeping in touch after that initial meeting over the social strings and lines linking us in the internetting digital tapestry through odd comments and shared opinions met with opposition only from within, but i didn’t understand the adventure to come until just then as we stood there catching up on the personal information exchange common to that social give-and-take… the show rocked by in a blur hazy with drink and drunken friendly debauchery familiar in that ritual behavior in those adapted to the social extremes leading one to the outside in frenzy to hand some stickers to players to whom i admired, but this was a rejected gesture by the weathered door guy who had actually answered the knocks whose short statements defeated the ideal meet-and-greet to which i was truly hoping for, though even kind gestures are mocked when you are in a drunken state of abandon among the ones who feel most superior in charge over other lesser beings whose access is limited by aspects of property and lawful boundaries… 999 words into this oddity, and i still just dance around the issues like a doped insane lunatic affected my amorous misadventures against the grain of my daily life, as i would then have sexual relations with that woman later on that night rather against type in my consistency otherwise… but drunken debauchery is not far from what i am familiar with, and it was only after much friendly energy in connecting after the show hitting other venues that were four-twenty-friendly that later did i prod her into acquiesce after some oral performing as promised we commenced with the love-making wrapped in plastic to prevent my loveless seed from poisoning her womb, i was ripped off that night and so many conflicting emotions were channeling through me then as i allowed a shadowy truth serum version of myself out in her bedroom that wanted to fuck her well… the open relationship between the previous love i held and myself was always on the rocks with dire energies consistently volatile between my failed attempts at delivering words of quality and concern, but it was not like those first college days or even intermittent positions in the wavering romantic phases occurring just after a childhood expansion beyond ideas limited in scope and determination of success, she cannot take the dissonant tension revealed when we do not tolerate one another through the depths of our unknowing assuming selves projecting outward into a vague soft of freed existence… wounds come so casually in the emotional terrain of which we are all present, and people hold back in my humble opinion because the depth of the lesion is usually too deep to measure beyond a physical metaphor, scared of consequence and guilt and shameful lust passed between once friends who will never see each other in a friendly way again because of cowardice supreme to other feelings of possible true freedom that remain unseen by some conscious minds with or without guidance… i am wrong, and i have wronged…

Thanks, khet.