WARNING!!! – Please be advised that before you read this story, you must prepare yourself to uphold the Australian characterization by such luminaries as Paul Hogan (Crocodile Dundee), Steve Irwin (RIP), and so on with thick rugged Australian accent begin to find a voice for…
hippies and children and unpaid bills, oh my!… what is that coming from the basement?…
A scream coming from about twenty different sorority sisters bakes my eardrums with a pleasant tingle. They immediately pulled out fake-jeweled cell phones with words like ‘princess’ and ‘hotty’ written on the back in big pink letters. Well, it looks like the authorities were being informed. So, let’s go for shock number two. Push down on left joystick. BOOM! First floor, oh, that one was close. I could feel that dust cloud!
Phone is ringing once again. That thing has gone off five times already. Don’t get all upset just because the fucking phone wasn’t picked up and the poor bastard on the other end didn’t feel like listening to how shitty your life is. He’s positive your life does suck worse than any have sucked in the history of human occupation on Earth. Of course, and this merits multiple sessions of whining on the talky-talk.
Get a hammer and destroy this cursed idol.
WARNING!!!! – this material is geared toward a mature and nonsensical audience, anything written here can and will be used against you, and knowledge of this kind will make faces appear ugly by default. Thank you and enjoy.
the quiet sounds left in the wake of humanity disappearing from the planet soon move to reveal a new beginning, but what is next for this new world?
a tale of the demented Doctor and his manservant Lao as they commit to experiments at the fringe of the social animal that humanity has become. whatever that means …as we go further into ASYLUM…
a love tale between two cross-country friends as they take a long drive towards nowhere in particular, but what of the state of their romance?
**author’s note– this is a story submitted to a literary magazine. the title was about a certain bizarro author, that is why the name has been omitted. however, after reviewing the publication, i believe the only reason this wasn’t chosen was because it wasn’t a vocabulary assualt and was an actual disgusting story about why _____ _____ is a dick. obviously i know him better than those other fucks do. thank you for your time. ARW**